We May Love The Lord...!

Some, I realized, usually tend to draw emotional supports/understandings whence they didn't make any such deposits. The "Them-them." They are used to asking, expecting, collecting, taking, usurping, claiming, etc., at all times. Giving, helping, sharing, comforting, compassion etc are all alien to them. They go, "give me this, help me that, shift for me, help me send, make me those, I need them things, ...." They are used to getting their ways no matter what.

Who remembers this above picture collage from my blog post My Dear Greens...!  . My makeup artist @dafnick said its her best shot till date. I can't agree more!

And some, on the other hand, are so generously inclined.... they keep dishing out emotional credits/giveaways without any hope or expectations of getting the returns/merits/credits. One of the what-can-we-do-thing about these other party is that they practically don't know how to ask/beg/request/claim or encumber others. They seemingly dislike discomforting others. They keep giving/helping yet, no returns (in cash or kind). Some on these side of the table seems to be just plain shy, proud or uncertain. Like they were just wired/created like that... From where? Emotional bankruptcy heaven? They don't know how to say no (just like me).

One "so very I-cant-seem-to-understand" thing about this kind of relationship is that these "them-them," the emotional tax collectors/drainers are in most cases more buoyant than their so-called "friends" in all regards. And some of these so called "friends" are in the know too but... they just carry on like its the norm. You know that what-can-I-do shoulder raising response? That well-it's-my-fate stance? That if-i-dont-take-care-of-him-who-will attitude.

All I do whenever I realize I'm at the giving end all the time without been able to ask, expect, or claim from the other party is to flat-out on that person. Someone said " 'Dee, you are too sensitive." Yes, I am. I see feelings. I feel reactions. I perceive motives. Its a blessing (being sensitive--i feel people's pain. I'm always drawn to the down-trodden. I easily profer solutions to people's problems) and the otherwise wrapped tightly together. Like ying yang..

In Chinese philosophy, Yin and yang or yin yang describe how seemingly opposite or contrary forces may actually be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they may give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another... -(en.m.wikipedia.org)

I'd always known something's different with me but I couldn't decipher what it was until I was told. I couldn't agree more with him. I don't usually recognize faces, places, digits etc. I don't usually follow a conversation or even hear the ongoing conversation. Nay! I don't. Like I have attention deficit or is it short attention span. I'm always lost. I always look it too. I don't know the people living in front of my house by face. I know them only by their attitudes; the vibes coming from them; their reactions. Even in my handiwork, I don't work by what I see. I work by what I can feel; the vibes; the detailings. I operate from within. 

"Flavors, colors, shapes, emotions, nature, rhythms, reactions etc are so vivid and loud to me. They got voices. I feel the behind-the-actions. I feel the things you are not telling me. I feel your true color.  When that friend said, "Dee, you are very sensitive," he was only verifying the fact. And day by day, the pigment (sensitivity) strengthens."

In essence and back to the topic for today, when I feel uncomfortable in a relationship (commercial or otherwise), life is too short to spend it what-can-i-do-ing-ly. Nay! I just let it lie like a sleeping dog. You know that saying, "let sleeping dogs lie?" I allow such relationships lie

The beaded 4 piece jewelries (neckpiece, earrings, bracelet and ring) as used in the above pictures. I made it specifically for the bottle green outfit. It was made in a lighter shade of green (lemon) to tame the vivid bottle green color of the ensembles.

And Just like @hustlersquare also concurred, block them inner peace draining lots. They run you bankrupt emotionally, financially, spiritually for nothingsakes. Give them the I-love-the-Lord-but-I-am-not-the-Lord menu list. Let them have the liberty at making their choices and be generous enough to make these for them FOC (free of charge). I have enough baggages already (Deep-set and heavy)... like my boss, @mr_heritage_media_ once confirmed aloud.

The other day, my sister said "isn't it your money you'll collect?" "Well...," I told her, "it's not all about the pay." I practice arts which depend solely on my state of mind. My peace of mind is sacrosanct. My inner peace is non-negotiable if I'm to give my best. The moment anything threatens my inner peace, i drop it like its hot. I panic easily (you know me!). I am very prone to mr-anxiety-i-didnt-send-you-my-message. I have enough baggage like my boss said. Adding yours to it without coming with an adequate means of transport, souvenirs,  finger foods (for the road) etc is a sin . I'm a sinner already... Two negatives are bound to encumber each other.

And this was the henna stains (tattoos) from the picture (my dear greens) above. It was my first personal professional henna tattoos i.e henna tattoos done by me on me. I went to this salon to get my hair prepped for my photo shoot. The hairstylist snapped this photo for me. And just within a year, through practice, practice, practice and practice, I moved from lines and dots to outstanding, great and classy detailings. I have worked with several queens, celebrities as they come... And I'm not slowing down or looking sideways. Wherever art is taking me is where I'm going. Like I always say, "it's art, it's beauty, it's deep, it's intuitive, it's grace, it's discovery, it's themes and adventures, it's philosophical, inspirational, humorous. It's grace again. It's God!  TRUST YOUR DREAMS, they know the way

Be that as it may, If you are on this table (from both sides -- The emotional drainer and the emotionally drained; 

the emotional withdrawer & the emotionally withdrawn;

the entitled and the titled-not, -- pls get down. It will all end in emotional distress on both sides. The fact is no matter how low, far, deep "you-you" can go for "them-them," "you-you" tend never to get the credit/appreciation. You hear "you have never been of help to me. Never! And even when "them-them" are apportioning grace/appreciations/gratitudes, your name will never surface. You will never be credited (I don't know why too!). Have you ever stood and watched how your credit was given to another live...? Right there in front of your eyes! For compliments, all you get is "your baggage is too much," or "you are so low on self-esteem." "You're now becoming a nuisance." And it may come as "why are you trying to fit in by force now." Well, It's not "them-them's" fault. It's what's-what with man and "you-you" too. "You-you" with the illusion of what fate and destiny are all about. "You-you" that....!

Partners (partners-in-what-can-we-do-keh), truly, we love the Lord but we are not the Lord. Let go the Lord's function/purpose and let God pls. Stop this indulgence that's not appreciated. We ain't Atlas nor his siblings. Our baggage is as ok as it should be (are your shoulders not paining you already and enough?). Any whosoever wants to add to it must come with an adequate means of transport and various/appropriate incentives (keh). And we ain't porters no more. Let the cross owner bear his cross on-in-own now. You are busy right there seeing to someone else's country crossing while your own cross lies country-less somewhere unattended. You have to stop it now because if and when you help them to their destination, they won't even stop to ask after yours. Dump that cross right there and go bring yours. Stop these unappreciated moves. Stop those what-can-i-do destiny-denying/ destiny-undermining  activities. Stop being the dumpster;

Another shot from that photo shoot. This picture always brings to mind/evokes or  reminds me the significance of inner peace above any. Every time I look at it, I become more and more determined in my quest for my dream which is the attainment of peace within and outside my own mind/environment. It tells how beautiful one can be in a state of inner peace.

Stop being the emotional withdrawee...

The emotionally withdrawn;

The emotional over-drawn.

Stop being the titled-not.
Stop being the always available;
the always there;
the always with the answer / solution;
the sure-bet;
the non-appreciated shoulder; 
the have-non;
the can't-claim;
the I-don't-know-how-to-ask; etc.
Do your gospel part and leave the rest to grace. Or do you intend to usurp God's glory (ni )?
My sis, we love the Lord but we are not the Lord at all... Appropriating God's duties doesn't make you more saint than being dumb makes a doorpost a sinner!

And here's the above neckpiece in her "gorgeousness" displayed in another way for a clearer look

"Them-them," my peeps on the other side of this table, If you want to sleep comfortably, lay your bed properly after you have completed your assignments. Lunch ain't made free no more. You just have to pay for it. If you want to retain your withdrawer position, be ready to make worthy deposits. Put eggs in those baskets first...! Do always and ever as you expected to be done to. If you are on this table, and really, you know yourself, get the .... off that table. It's becoming too tiring listening to your whining and crying and lamenting. It's not working anymore. You expect "sweet indulgence" at home? No problem... Let's feel your positive hands in these "ministries" first. Love is reciprocal. And you don't even have to love in the first place so long you are not expecting it too.

The very 4 piece (neckpiece, earrings, bracelet and ring) neckpiece placed side by side with the wearer

And "You-you", life is about give-and-take not give-and-give or give-and-faint. That balance must be balanced. We ain't the Lord. The saying is "we are the master of our fate" not otherwise. We may be godly but we ain't God Himself... Humility and honesty may be the best of policies; loving thy neighbor as thyself may guarantee heaven... But gullibility and "the sheer irrationality of continuing a policy doomed to rob you of your inner peace" (las-las) and loving thy neighbor more than thyself is totally unacceptable!

You have so much pain in your heart. You are crying behind closed doors. You have these friends you always help in times of need. You are always there for them. You are their go-to in their times of emotional and financial need. You are the first to come to mind whenever they fall short. But in your own time of needs; in your down period; in your low period; in your crying-behind-closed-door period; in your broke/broken period; in your ugly outlook period; in your loser/lost period; in your "me-me" period, you can't even think about them let alone sharing your pains with them. Yet, you rush to their aids when the time calls. Even when it's not needed. Even when you are not upto. And even when your life is crying out helplessly for help!

Here's that henna stains above in another shoot with an autumn-themed all-gold  fashion ensembles. Don't miss the candied-ginger-sweet-earcandies (earrings). These two pics are phonography. The makeup and gele was by @dafnick. We will be coming across the professional pictures in other incoming blog posts. See you innnna bit. 

You are the one that reminds them their birthdays/anniversaries with cakes, messages, dms etc. You even honed your skills to satisfy their needs; to get at least, and for once, their acceptance, the recognition or what-have-wes. You are the always-there. "If-you-don't-do-it-who-will" stance. When did you become God? Too bad thy godliness cannot help thyself! You are broke, unhappy and unfulfilled. Not a single shoulder to cry upon. You are having so much difficulties making decisions. When they say "helpless and hopeless", they are only repeating your "obviousness". So much bottled up in you yet you carry on like you are Atlas. And too bad, your "them-them" are just around the corner---in their "completeness" ---and you don't even have the right/you can't even summon the courage to reach out to them. "It will seem bothersome you know!" Or "well, I hate to be a nuisance/liability on others!"

This is bad. It's so sad. This is no more complex. It's becoming pathetic. I liken this to self-wickedness (abi). Please, this has to stop! 

Please, we may need to stop playing God henceforth. God is enough in His capacity! This is seeming as if we are contending with God. You know what that is? It's a major sin.  We may love the Lord, but that doesn't make us the Lord. We may love the Lord (oh yeah and always),serve the Lord, humbly, honestly etc., but we are not the Lord still! Stop playing God. Let sleeping dogs lie. Leave well enough and alone. Drop that cross right there. "It's all about finding the right note at the right place and knowing when to leave well enough alone. And that's a life-long quest. " -(David Sanborn)

Can you feel the loud henna tattoos. This shot was taken at @ajokeologe studio. The makeup was by her too. Henna tattoos by me. The dress came from my boss @mr_heritage_media_ . The earrings were from @denrele-casual-fashion. The hairstylist was @hairmistressandmakeover 

Say after me : Today

I stop being an emotional buffer...

I stop being an emotional dumpster...

I refuse to be the emotionally drained /withrawn...

I stop crying...

I stop crying for people who couldn't care less about my happiness...

I stop being the non-appreciated shoulder...

I stop being the always-there...

I refuse to be the cant-claim/cant-expect 

 part of a relationship...

I stop being the doormat...

I take my life more serious henceforth...

I'm one in a lifetime...

I choose self-esteem, not self-pity...

In all, I come first...

My inner peace is paramount...

My happiness is non-negotiable...

I choose to listen to inner voice, not the random opinion of others...

I am strong enough to live my life...

I am the best of me that can be...

I am special...

I'm a queen...

Every day is my day...

I don't need there reference/recognition/acceptance...

I am me... I am the best!

Lastly, and most importantly, God alone is the solution to my problems!

BLOGGER'S NOTE 

Oh Lord, I thank you for the inspiration behind this blog post, my collaborators most especially, @dafnick. She's divine. I'm also grateful for the completion of this blog post. Mistakes still abound (I'll continue to adjust them)  but the fact that the message eventually saw the light of day is overwhelmingly heartwarming. It's success on its own considering how busy I have been in the last couple of months: a wonderful period of discovery in arts and purpose. You need to see my henna arts and other temporary tattoos. I've changed my purpose from just "inspiring the losers and the losts (like me) to greatness" to "beautifying and happifying humanity." I'm making queens even more beautiful with my arts from the creation of outstanding, independent and precisely detailed 4piece jewels (which is now so developed that I only take commissioned-custom orders alone - that's God) to adorning their bodies with precise, detailed and outstanding temporary tattoo patterns that can only be imagined (This is God too). My motto now is "I blow minds away and still help bring them back!" (These can only be God) 

THE BEAT...!  Creams&Corals on the beat! Looka me! Hi! Hi!.......... 
pls, how can one break the flow (that flow!) and look up into her face😀. She knows how to enter my brain and toss some cords in there😀. That's @dafnick voice. This was a shoot we had to celebrate @ajokeologe (another wonderful makeup artist I've worked with) birthday. 

When people tell me I'm excellent; great; accomplished; too-much; professional; etc.,  I tell them this is my purpose. I may seem Hot and blazing in my chosen field, but I s**k on all other areas. For example, I am not good in the business side of these. I hate digits (I've never bought a calculator on all my life). I can't express myself verbally. I'm too irrational. I always so botched dinner, you'll all have to eat out (lol). I........ So much!

But as this is my purpose, I've been looking like a million dollars diamond crusted cake in it. Remember the spiritual significance of snow , find your purpose, follow your dreams, they know the way. If someone tells you you can't, go all the way and do the unexpecteds; the unthinkables but in a positive way. Don't you leave God behind in your dealings. He is first and foremost. He'll be there when all seems lost. 

And this was one of the professional outcome of that day (video above) from @ajokeologe birthday shoot with @dafnick. The ostentatious 3piece Coral neckpiece and the seriously embellished henna tattoos by me. Make up and photography by @dafnick   

Thanks and God bless for dropping by. I love you so much. All observations, suggestions and comments are welcome 

AGAPE