When Life Gives You Lemons | How To Manage A Difficult Fate

I don't come into things easily. I don't easily achieve... No matter how hard I strive. Several unfinished projects. Several unsuccessful attempts. Many stops midway. Trials over #trials. Adversities upon adversities. Pains! Emotional traumas! Disappointments!!!  There's always a #delay.. I have eventually accepted my FATE and thereby come into #peace with my existence and #destiny. Truly, it isn't easy oooo😵😱😀😀 accepting or coming into terms; but gradually, it's entering me.

But well, what can one do but accept! All I try to do is ask God for the #GRACE to decipher every single #opportunity that rarely knocks; grab and make the best of it. And also, the #PATIENCE to wait out the time in between...

Accept your FATE then you will be well... -(Drowning Pool: Reminded) 

I wonder which one is harder: accepting your FATE and living with it; or living in denial the rest of your life.. -(GU Family Book)

Accept FATE, and move on. Don't yield to the seductive pull of self-pity. Acting like a victim threatens your future... -(Anonymous)

At a not so tender age of 16, the headteacher of a school where I taught used to chant like a mantra, "WHATEVER IS WORTH DOING AT ALL... IS WORTH DOING WELL." Infact, it was his anthem! This very statement sank deep into my subconsciousness... At times, I did use it to drive point home generally but I never envisaged just how significant it would become in my life course.

And suddenly, I don't pass #exams easily anymore; I don't have/gain anything immediately anymore; success became elusive; and luck disappeared from my dictionary. No matter how hard I strove, I always missed targets. My mates started leaving me behind. Time suddenly became an enemy. Initially, I didn't notice it. I was just going by. But it eventually dawned and it was like the end had come. Fear, shame, rejections, depression and regrets came to be my companions. It was (like) a curse.

Never let fear (shame, rejections, discriminations, stigmatisations, shortcomings etc) decide your FATE... -(LiveLuvCreate.com)

You either get bitter or you get better. It's that simple. You either take what has been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person, or you allow it to tear you down.

The choice does not belong to FATE, it belongs to you! ...(Josh Shipp)

Closed doors. Rejections. They do not decide your FATE. They simply redirect your course. You must keep moving because life's detours can also be meaningful... -(Dodinsky)

I began to hate myself; my name; my existence; my being etc. The stance was: WHY ME? WHY ME? WHY ME GOD? Why ME with all my innate abilities and intelligence. My outstanding look and stature. ( Today, I know that intelligence, beauty, great stature, being smart or talented are nothing without grace. Divine Grace takes one to places. And Mercy keeps one while there).

             The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong... (BibleQuotes) 

Well, this led me to taking some steps towards seeking answers... The answers that were in me I seek externally! Did I find it? No! I fell deeper... You know when you are looking for what's not lost in the first place! You know those attendant ills and sufferings; batterings and cheatings etc. From deep fry to deeper fire. No help! I cried and cried (Chai😵😵😀). I realized along the way that every time I tried to seek answers externally, I ended up falling deeper: away from God and objectivity. Focus and the attainment of my dreams (to be independent and successful) suffers. I resigned to FATE with dignity (I stopped discussing my predicaments, stopped exposing myself and seeking external solutions) but pursued my goals even harder.

What this fate did for me was a blessing in disguise. I came into four things:
1. Talking to God and hearing from HIM 😎😀.
2. Finding inner peace and happiness (after accepting my fate and realizing that only God gives. Whatever He does not give, nobody can).
3. Got me engaged in my destined career
4. Standing out (Springing surprises, uniqueness).

If you take risks and face your FATE with dignity, there's nothing you can do that makes you small... -(Nasim Nicholas Taleb)

From when I was very young, I realized one thing: People find it easy to discuss their heart issues with me and I always did find answers for them (I listen deep). (Infact, at home, my siblings would say, "tell him; " or "lets wait for him; " or "let's go and ask him," he would know the answer). But when I try to share my own mind, my own predicaments tended to escalate. Probably because talking wasn't my strength. I either couldn't express my mind in short sentences or people weren't/aren't patient enough generally to assimilate. No solution and I ended up feeling exposed and dejected. Some people are so poor that after relaying your mind to them😀😀😀😀, all that will come out of their mouth is "HEY YA." 😀😀😀😀 Imaaahgine!!! (See Life Ooooo).

The only people who have been able to give little succour are those who have the ability to read and read deep. Once, I was in a mess. My immediate elder brother was so angry with me. And I couldn't express myself enough. Days later, he came across a torn notebook where I recorded the issue in writing as it was unfolding. Like a diary. Infact, he cried after reading it. He couldn't beg me enough. He then promised never to expose me to such atmosphere again.

Well, that was then. In God's case, I don't have to open my mouth to talk. No. He knew me before my parents thought of conceiving me. He knows my predicament. I don't even have to say it. But it's even more beautiful because I could say everything to Him if I feel like talking. He's never hasty nor does He discriminate. And after talking to him, I don't feel exposed, rejected or dejected. The following morning, I can still look Him in the face with pride (literally 😀😀😀).

Without knowledge of self, there is no knowledge of God... -(John Calvin)

Without God there is for mankind no purpose, no goal, no hope, only a wavering future, an eternal dread of every darkness... -(Jean Paul)

Kola Abiola once said, "my mum, (Simbiat Abiola of the blessed memory) despite her wealth, never did buy so many of something(eg. Cars). She only used to buy one and that one was sure the best of any of something. She would rather have the best of BMW vehicle than having several numbers of cars."

From left 👉 Kola Abiola, his mum, 

Ayinba Simbiat Abiola, his dad, Chief MKO Abiola and 

President Gnassingbe Eyadema of Togo

This point has also been a kind of guidance in my day to day activities. Every once in a while indulgence I make, I ask for the best I can afford😎😎😀. I crave the best for myself and from myself. You know I don't know the next opening!

Hence, anytime I lay my hands/mind on something, two qualities are paramount: EXCELLENCE and FULFILLMENT...

Before I stop at whatever it is am doing, I ask myself:
•Will (my output) it stand the test of time?
•Will it worth the delay?
•Would it be worthy of the time expended and would it exhibit joy looking at it years and years to come!!!
•Is it worth doing at all?
•Has it justified the mantra (WHATEVER IS WORTH DOING AT ALL IS WORTH DOING WELL)?

Also, is it destiny-worthy,
•is it of God?
•Is it gracefully complete?
•I've I earned/expended/exhibited the worth of it?
•I've I found peace in it?
•By the next opening/next over next openings to come, could it still stand the test of excellence?

This fate has ensured that I have enough time, space and liberty to ponder; to get inspiration; and to develop the inspiration towards excellence... It has ensured I deliver wow outputs... It has ensured outstanding and unique performances; It has developed in me the can-do-it attitude. It has also ensured the simultaneous existence of excellence and success in my chosen career.

Now, what choice do I have? But to put this unique/special or seemingly-difficult-to-endure-FATE to good use! Instead of allowing it to work me off/down, I'm fully 😎😎😀making it work itself (it's butts😀😀) out for me....  And am enjoying the liberty that came with it!!!

I am the master of my FATE, I am the captain of my SOUL...  -(William Ernest Henley)

WHEN LIFE GAVE ME LEMONS,  I MADE A SWEET, SIZZLING AND OUTSTANDING LEMONADE... PLEASE HAVE YOUR SEAT AND DRINK WITH ME!!!

My name is J. A. Kolawole. I can't say it all but....but I give all the glory to God. Luck ran out on me...  But hard work paid my way. Accepting my fate didn't make me a coward. it made me understand the ways of God. It brought peace of mind; and the objectivity, focus and reasons to pursue my dreams and strive harder (I mean very hard) to be independent, self-sufficient and successful.

Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway! .... -(Earl Nightingale)

People (and family) had labeled me a loser and had lost hope on me. Every time I start a new something (which I always do with zeal, believe and determination), My own bloods instead of supporting me used to tell outsiders that, "Eehhhh, leave him.😨😵 That's how he used to do. He would soon abandon this latest white elephant project; and come back home." It was that bad. But were they God?

Without the adversities, I definitely would never have reached my full potentials (which am even yet to achieve). I would have turned out a loafer; a never-do-well and the slave of the said lucky ones in my family and among my friends. Infact, their lack of believe, support and abandonment acted like elixir. It gave me the needed space to exercise my talents, work my imaginations out and do the unexpecteds. Some people are power drunk. I am hard work and excellence intoxicated.

Those who had rejected me before are back knocking on my door. But the thing is I'm too busy smithing😀 my FATE to hear the knocks. They can wait till I'm tired 😴 of FATE-SMITHING or they can dump the knocking and move elsewhere to pitch their pitiful tents. They don't love me. They love the glory. They love what God did with me. They love the outcome of FATE-SMITHING+GRACE+PEACE.

It is a blessing in disguise. I guess God just wanted to wake me up to reality; to take the bulls of my life by the horns; to take charge of my destiny. If I didn't, who would have? I didn't get to understand this early enough though!

One cleric once told me that my destiny is of the SUN. whatever that means, I don't know. And I couldn't even care less. If you by chance know it, I pray, do tell. I want to see if I can also harness it to better myself and the world in general.

This is my own #experienceasshared

NOTE FROM THE BLOGGER 
When life gives you lemons, do magic with them... Life will be like whaaaat!!! 😀😀😀😀...

This "EXPERIENCE AS SHARED" was so emotional/sensitive that we had to do some face lifting by enlivening it and dropping some details without altering the essence (for peace-sake). The owner of the shared experience (#experienceasshared) didn't mind but the sensitivity couldn't allow us do otherwise.

There are diamonds-in-the-rough among us. Let's give them the necessary supports. These could be the glory we've been waiting for and a once-in-a-life-time affair. Opportunity, once lost......!

Diamonds-in-rough are not shiny and pretty... 

So their value isn't seen immediately by the untrained eye.... -(Lafango)

Never take someone for granted. Hold every person close to your heart. Because you might wake up one day and realize that you've lost a DIAMOND while you were too busy collecting stones! .....-(Pictures DP)

This talking to God and hearing God keeps coming around. I'm hoping this goes around too. Being a very irrational person myself, if not for God's directives, I would have disappointed myself many times. I am faced with countless choices and decision making daily, I don't know how I do it but each time I get it right, it surely is God! I will be like, "😱 did I just do that?!" or "where did that statement/reply came from?!" That surely isn't me😀😀😀😀...

Thanks to all who dropped by to show some love. The feedback is great and encouraging. We welcome all comments and suggestions. #creamsandcoralslovers Delay isn't denial. Let's keep it together. God's grace is sufficient. Lots of love

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