My Dear Greens, BEFORE YOU START CAINING ABEL.... (How To Manage Envy)

Nobody is superior, nobody is inferior, but nobody is equal either. People are simply unique, incomparable." -(Osho)

This is what I used to tell a sister-in-law. She's fond of saying, " 'Dee', you're very lucky. You're creative with your hands. You are so endowed. Too bad it's not the same with me." 

Well, first, it may seem all glitz and glamor.... "But she doesn't know the me in this casing. She'd know how pathetic I could be at times. I don't even envy myself. It's been grace." 

Two, she hasn't found her purpose yet. I may seem good with my hands. "She doesn't even know what goes on in my brain and mind while seemingly expertly executing any idea. Hands are just a significant little part of a whole body. And well, she's forgotten she's versatile business-wise which I am not."

Nobody is unuseful. All it takes is being objective and focused; finding one's purpose; and using one's time productively well. But that emotional gaol --ENVY-- and which is needless most times as well, takes our eyes from our strengths and successes. We start taking into account the successes of others ( book keeping & accounts). Some of us are so good. We need not book-keep to file such accounts & proceedings.

"Don't you think that's a talent on its own which if harnessed well and objectively, could be the glory thought to be lost initially." Then we begin to CAIN ABEL (call it greening) ... From Jelousy. Then Anger. Then the utmost ---bitterness--- festers. At this point, falling out of God's favor is imminent. You know the Parables of Cain and ABEL now?

If we could take a backward glance; a reflection; we would see how our personal plans and executions are being neglected and crumbling away. But sheezz! we're already engaged elsewhere to take note. Why don't we just remove our noses from others businesses and put all the vigor with which we are monitoring (monitoring spirits) other's whereabouts into our own. Really, we'd be better off and compete favorably.

"That she (our sisters-in-law) fails to see some blows dealt me by fate and the so many attendant disappointments and drawbacks in my way..... Well, her mind, already attuned to envy wouldn't allow her to see these."

Alas, I won't absolve myself of this spiritual disease. I kind of envy my one and only friend. I discovered that when things look up for her, it touches me negatively. Well, I have some shortcomings that others successes, I believed, usually expose.

"My twin-sister is so skilled, intelligent, beautiful and fashionforward. She's always excelling in school. I'm the direct opposite of her. Where's grace?"

"My elder brother is gainfully employed but I can't make any headway... My family concluded I'm a loser already!"

"My friend just got himself a showroom to broadcast on a larger scale, his wares whereas, somebody is still struggling without  even a side shop to go to daily."

"A friend whom we've been sworn spinsters together just called that she's getting married. How about me oh Lord!"

"My younger sisters are on their second and third kids already. I have never got relationships right. I date wrongly. Why me?"

Hence, my body does it (envy) helplessly. But why would my body negatively react whenever she tells me good news, I would ask myself when I'm alone. She may seem more successful but yet, the regard she's got for me is in excess. She even gives me too much. She supports my dream in cash and kind. If there's anyone that believes in my dream, she's the one. The one and only. My happiness matters to her. And whenever I sit to count my blessings, I always realize blessings-wise, God so endowed me too but maybe inwardly. "You need to get to know me first and patiently before you can understand/appreciate me. And many things I have, I've done and my visions, prospects, goals etc are just divine. 

"And one thing though, as overwhelming as my issues are, as EMOTIONALLY BROKEN I could be and as disturbing others seeming blessings are, I have never envisaged exchanging my dreams and destinies with theirs. Never! Ï AM DIFFERENT... I know now. I get into things late... Uhn Uhn! I GOT LEMONS... Oh yeah! But I have come to terms with these. I appreciate it now. And I feel special. I trust God for everything. 

 "There's one who always wants to bring me down psychologically and emotionally, expose me, and shine spotlight on my imperfections deliberately despite her having all the expecteds and wherewithals compared to my several inabilities. She usually just wants to discuss me! She searches me fervently online to monitor my progress.

But someone told me I shouldnt pay her any courtesy nor brood over it anymore. "She only craves attention," he said. She's using you to achieve that and to also cover-up her own unfortunate flaws (depth). People may get swayed today. But such doesn't last. Trust God. "

It's painful. Yes. It's a painful blessing in disguise for 

it is one important reason why I strive harder day and night with my little.

Well and yes, you know what, I'm harnessing these said "hells." They are working excellently for me (though gradually). Surprise! People are chanting up and down nowadays, "YOU ARE SO BLESSED. " HOW DO YOU DO IT?" "YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION" I WANT TO BE LIKE YOU WHEN I GROW UP." PLEASE CAN I MEET YOU ONE ON ONE. " PLEASE, WHERE DID YOU STUDY? "etc😀😀😀😀 *smh* They don't know!!!"

"Every one is blessed... But maybe differently. Some inwardly (spiritually) and some physically."

I had to ask her once, ( that my one and only friend) "do you gain from me at all?" "That's because it seems I take too much from her. I always envisage why she loves me this much. And how so much she indulges me: she has never said no to me!" She always smiles and gives me this you-don't-even-know-your-worth look! That's it. She makes me feel I'm the next best thing after sliced bread!

So why the greening madam queen me! But I'm human (excuses... Well, excuse me), I'm bound to transgress and transgression isn't a sin if you are gracified to realize and rush back to common sense and godliness with immediate effect. So my dear Greens, BEFORE YOU START CAINING ABEL and break his back (We are allowed to be human and disappoint ourselves at times. Mistakes do happen), my solutions now are:

1. I realize (the transgression).

2. I count my blessings.

3. Nobody is perfect and completely endowed. That's one lease on life for us to know that perfect embodiment is not so perfect afterall. The grass isn't greener on the other side. The pizzazz and paparazzis are a product of professional editings, determinations and our followership. Hence, no cause for CAIN or broken back!

4. Get busy with building yourself. Those shortcomings, harness them. Stop playing a victim. Get apprenticed. Take a new degree. Pick up a new hobby. Meditate. Start a business venture. Learn a new language. Commit to your personal growth. An idle mind is the devils bedroom. Try this motto: "Too busy to be bothered!"

5. Pray about it (envy). It's a disease. We need God's grace to realize, manage and overcome it

6. The last is talk about it. Discuss it with the person and God. Say it out. Don't leave it bottled up to fester. If you are unable to discuss it with the person, discuss it with God. 

But me, I take those bulls by the horn by

1. Telling God first & asking for forgiveness

2. And telling the person the truth. Difficult right?  Well, that's not my doing though. It's my conscience. It's chokingly alive and the fear that I'll have to say it out to get relief later on is the beginning of wisdom dear greens!!!

BLOGGER'S NOTE 

it's real yet it's fun. I enjoyed doing this blog post. That should be because it's currently ongoing and it's one way of watching my own transgression. The illustration pictures for this blog post are some collaboration shoots I took part in and some of my beadworks. And you know what, I just came into another manifestation of my talents.... Henna tattoos. I feel happiest when I'm doing it. Drawing..., my childhood passion just found its way back home.

I'm not there yet but I'm not leaving any stone unturned. I don't have so much audience but as I have come to realize, my purpose in life is to share goodwill. Maybe my audience are exactly as it is supposed to be. No cause for greening! Being able to pass the message; being able to exercise my purpose; attainment of inner peace all beat the number of audience.

May the special grace of God brings to us all that our hearts desire today and always. Agape lovers

PHOTO CREDITS:

Makeup and photography: @dafnick

All makeup used from: @makeup_quarters

Beads and Jewelries by me (@creams_andcorals)

Henna Tattoo(my new found love): @creams_andcorals